General Educational Development |

Posts Tagged ‘General Educational Development’

Foster care…something I don’t talk about much.

June 22nd, 2010

Image via Wikipedia

Foster care, I don’t talk about this much – in fact I just recently updated my “What can you expect at pr-mom” section that notes that I was a prior foster care child and that one of my goals is to help bring about reform. Foster care is not talked about much; those that were in the system do not seem to speak out about their experiences. Possibly, they want to leave their past just where it is, in the past.

I too do not talk about my past much – I feel as if there are stereotypes and that sharing this information is likely to bring about awkward moments, but I know to meet my goals and to help change the dynamic of the system, I have to be able to talk about my own past.

Something happen a few days ago that motivated me to write this post. I attended the PRSA Maryland Chapter Annual Chesapeake event. It was a fantastic event with great speakers and I enjoyed meeting quite a few people in real life that I had been talking with online. The last session I attended was the APR Roundtable. I have wanted to get my APR for some time now, and I plan to commit to this ASAP. In the discussion we talked about some of the intimidating factors of the APR exam, and I noted that one for me was just the sheer number of questions. So naturally, someone at the table asked, “well you have taken your SAT’s, right?” I replied “no,” he proceeded, “well you have taken the LSAT then, right?” Once again I had to answer “no;” can I tell you how small I felt? He did not do anything wrong in asking me that question; his question was completely logical. However, the way I was left feeling is how I am guessing most of my peers have felt at one point or another.

After I obsessed in my head at a rapid pace for the next minute in a half – I thought to myself are they wondering why I didn’t take these exams, is that odd to them. In turn I felt a need to explain myself, I proceeded to say, “Well, I don’t know why I feel weird saying this, but my past was a little different, and I have taken a test in length before when I took the exam for my G.E.D.” Then later as I am still knee deep in my own insecurities, I felt the need to mention my current G.P.A. and relate that to my hopeful ease of progress on the APR exam; am I crazy?

Quite possibly, but that will be for another post. Why did I go through all of that in my head? I first felt like I had to throw out this disclaimer that my past was different when talking about my G.E.D., then I probably looked completely arrogant when I further felt the need to mention my G.P.A., which was all in a subconscious effort to not make me feel as small as I was feeling.

When I left, I sat in my car and my eyes welled up. Hopefully I am not creating any awkward moments now, but we all cry, right? Or at least I hope we do. I still felt so entirely small, so below others, so different, and then those feelings lead to frustration. No one at that table knew just how many hurdles I had overcome, how great those accomplishments are for those that push forward and refuse to be a statistic. I felt so inferior because I felt as if they only saw half of the picture. Outside of my head, in the real world – I am sure they did not give it a second thought. I am the only one that can truly make myself feel inferior, and this is exactly what I was doing.

To give you a snapshot – according to Fosterclub.com there are over 510,000 American children in foster care, and 75,000 former foster youth who aged out of the system that will experience homelessness. Per the Jim Case Youth Opportunities Initiative, research on those who age out shows that they are less likely to have a high school diploma, less likely to be pursuing higher education, more likely to have experienced economic hardships, less likely to be earning a living wage, more likely to have had a child without being married, and more likely to become involved with the criminal justice system.

There was an article in the Los Angles Times titled, “Chaos Often the Only Parent for Abused or Neglected Children,” in this article, Connecticut officials estimate that 75 percent of youths in the state’s criminal justice system were once in foster care. Furthermore, an article on the Casey.org site, titled, “Improving Family Foster Care,” notes that only 1.8% of the Northwest Foster Care Alumni had obtained their bachelor’s degree. How can we have statistics like this? Only 1.8% of former foster care kids obtain their Bachelor’s degree and there has not been a whirlwind of change in the system, our legislators don’t see that the system needs to be majorly reformed, it all baffles me.

So statistics say that we are bound to wind up homeless, in jail, and poor. Why is this? We are not misfits, or crazy, or just bad kids. We are beaten down day after day, we are not empowered, and at times we are mortgage payments for our foster families vs. a kid to lift up and love. At the end, by the time you age out – with no support I should add; you feel helpless, negative, and it takes courage and support from others to push you forward.

Per the Casey.org article, sixty five percent of those in the Northwest Foster Care Alumni had experienced seven or more school changes from elementary school through high school. I personally went to over 10 schools – can you imagine what my grades were? Can you imagine the confidence issues that would create? I put off going back to college for years and it was all due to fear. That feeling is what I felt today, that fear that I am not as good as others, not as educated. My blog is not updated often and I am thinking the traffic is minimal, but I hope that any former or current foster care children that read this will push past those fears. I did horrible in high school, and I just received an e-mail two days ago notifying me I am on the Dean’s list – which has been continuous for me. Where we have been does NOT have to be an indicator for where we will go. Even with me overcoming some of the odds I had against me, I am still met with those fears from time to time, with that feeling of inferiority. Through all of my past transitions and those to come, that feeling will always lurk in the shadows, but I will continue to push past those feelings, and I have no doubt that each one of my peers can do the same.

There is this excellent site by the name of Raisemeup.org which has a very important message, and that is that you do not have to raise a child to raise them up. I am sharing below three videos, two are PSA’s this organization has developed and one is a lyrical rhyme from a former foster care child that I think is pretty powerful.

I struggled with posting this – and it has sat on my computer since the conference – which was five days ago. However, if I am ever going to get to the point where I can help others that have been through what I have – then I need to be okay talking about my past – being vulnerable is something I have to get use to and not caring how some will perceive me is a must.